I was on my way home feeling rather down regarding my life. I m borned with pathetic fate. Ya.. "Fate" which I shall say, "Destiny lies on your hands thus, you create your fate"


Ok.. rather dumb thou but kinda makes sense. Fate seems to be an excuse to cover their own miserable life which they created themselves. Pushing all the blame to fate so should it make them feel better.



I have a few weak points which reflects on scorpio's sign description.


Determined and forceful
Emotional and intuitive
Powerful and passionate
Exciting and magnetic

Jealous and resentful
Compulsive and obsessive
Secretive and obstinate


I m rather emotional and sensitive. I m always sparing thought for others, repaying them back as in a way to show them how grateful I really am but it never once failed that everything was just an act or being forgotten.

I felt rather tormented when I came to realised that people whom I've not known, I gave them my trust and hope but what they wanted were just benefits which knowing that by acting they're sincerely nice, they could gain everything for me.

Being really nice and sincere is the most simple technique to trip me in. I've never once spare a thought for myself, my life, my everything.. not even the consequences despite all pain I took.

I just wanna be nice. No.. I m already nice, All i wanted was people around me to appreciate what I've being trying to do for them , I meant really appreciate for who I m.. Not just because of benefits gained.

Due to fragile emotions, I cried upteens times over each different situation which occured on me. Like maybe these guys which helps me alot but came to an end, they actually wanted something in the end or either another crapping shits about getting r/s with me or either being a very crappy girl on the outside, laughing at all the dumb jokes people said about me over and over doesn't mean I won't flare up, it's just that I don't want to. Doesn't mean being hard on the outside proves that I wasn't crying inside. Doesn't mean putting up a smiling face shows what I m really feeling. Being funny all the time doesn't mean I can't be serious during work or school.

I mean.. This may sound stupid but when I'm out, I never wanted to attract any attention to make people feel sad or sorry for me, that's pathetic nor do I want my besties to get affected. At times I do tell them what's going on but I'll show them it's ok for me.. But it isn't



Friends meant everything to me. I treasure my friends and this is what I expect in return.


R/s is extremely important. I will kill for that guy. I'll do almost anything just to satisfied the guy. Anything.. Just anything.

Eversince I got sick of being abused , used and toyed... I can't afford to get into another r/s.

It's never nice forgiving your bf fucking your only 4 years best friend.
It's never nice being used for money.
It;s never nice being called a slut or accused of fucking around when you were over his house almost 24/7.
It's never nice having your good guy friend's number deleted without complaining.
It's never nice doing so much for just a simple surpise to see him smile but then got abused right after that.
It;s never nicebeing forced to waste your time being with him and got your O levels flunked and not appreciated in the end and YET... still wouldn't admit his fault.
It's never nice realising that he's got a girlfriend and after forgiving, you got played as well.
It's never nice doing so much knewing that he still loves his ex and yet trying hard to make him feel better.
It's never nice crying every night for a guy.
It's never nice screaming at your bestie over a guy despite she's been trying to protect u all the time.
It;s never nice giving your bf back to his ex in return for a promise, that is to treat him better.
It's never nice running all the way down to his place at a corner just to see a sight of him despite being ditch.
It;s never nice begging him to come back even though if he's back for a sub..



HOW dumb could I be....




And i m fucking hungry. Brb..