Away from home for quite awhile. Work haven't been really quite good due to politics and socialism . Was utterly disappointed as it wasn't what as I expected to be. My first time working in a office.

Looking at those people dressing up formaly with classy attitude but without knowing that it's just the way they must behave but not exactly they are. Take it as, I haven't seen much enough of the world.

Bascially I m new in dealing such situations in a right way whereby violence was the only solution to me in the past.

So I tried dealing it in a better way by keeping quiet or beahving really nice and funny to get along with those people. To learn more about new such behaviours. How they do it, How they deal with it and How they prevent it.


Eventually, somehow or rather, I was being pushed over just because I tried to conceal my anger with a oh-I-m-not-angry-ha-ha countanence despite I m prone to anger whenever such feelings occured on me but well, I learnt quite alot and definately contented because mI learnt to control my emotionals despite how fucked-up these people are at times BUT... when comes to work, THEY ARE REALLY very nice. They are really very serious and definately very very helpful.


I did told myself that, not everyone is perfect. Everyone have flaws, it's just the matter of how you deal with it. They can be really very very nice but you just got to accept their everything. I've learnt how to accept it with just a smile thou it's just a smile but I'm really glad that I did it. I felt disappointed because, there wasn't anyone which you could actually share the truth of your life with. There isn't at all.


Despite those bad scarring they gave me, it made me strong in dealing with such people in future social life. How I can avoid it yet deal with it.



Left the company, was utterly sad, not because of the politics but it was because the people i missed despite whatever I seen them doing, it was those laughter they left inside me.


Those none stop of laughters during the hard time that we were trying to get through. Laughter was the cure to everything and this is the only thing which they have been giving me.



sigh. Currently wont be home for a period of time due to family problems. Need a long break from it. Can't afford to stress it because I m only left with one month to freedom . Once school start on Jan 8, I will be so busy that I don't think I can have much fun.

I can't afford to fail any subjects. Almost pefection is all I wanted to have for my grades. Art is my only talent. The only thing which I have confidence in getting it into almost perfection.



Blah. eversince I left home, I have none of THOSE friends which I mention earlier actually care nor bother to call (execption for derek and James). This is what I see despite how much I did for them. I felt stupid, sad, anger , numb.

I seen through those selfish people whom I cared so much for... I finally know what are they.
Well it's ok... I learnt about it and definately, they are out of my life. Their existant no longer matters to me.



Anyway, I have hundreds of photos to be uploaded. =D

I was on my way home feeling rather down regarding my life. I m borned with pathetic fate. Ya.. "Fate" which I shall say, "Destiny lies on your hands thus, you create your fate"


Ok.. rather dumb thou but kinda makes sense. Fate seems to be an excuse to cover their own miserable life which they created themselves. Pushing all the blame to fate so should it make them feel better.



I have a few weak points which reflects on scorpio's sign description.


Determined and forceful
Emotional and intuitive
Powerful and passionate
Exciting and magnetic

Jealous and resentful
Compulsive and obsessive
Secretive and obstinate


I m rather emotional and sensitive. I m always sparing thought for others, repaying them back as in a way to show them how grateful I really am but it never once failed that everything was just an act or being forgotten.

I felt rather tormented when I came to realised that people whom I've not known, I gave them my trust and hope but what they wanted were just benefits which knowing that by acting they're sincerely nice, they could gain everything for me.

Being really nice and sincere is the most simple technique to trip me in. I've never once spare a thought for myself, my life, my everything.. not even the consequences despite all pain I took.

I just wanna be nice. No.. I m already nice, All i wanted was people around me to appreciate what I've being trying to do for them , I meant really appreciate for who I m.. Not just because of benefits gained.

Due to fragile emotions, I cried upteens times over each different situation which occured on me. Like maybe these guys which helps me alot but came to an end, they actually wanted something in the end or either another crapping shits about getting r/s with me or either being a very crappy girl on the outside, laughing at all the dumb jokes people said about me over and over doesn't mean I won't flare up, it's just that I don't want to. Doesn't mean being hard on the outside proves that I wasn't crying inside. Doesn't mean putting up a smiling face shows what I m really feeling. Being funny all the time doesn't mean I can't be serious during work or school.

I mean.. This may sound stupid but when I'm out, I never wanted to attract any attention to make people feel sad or sorry for me, that's pathetic nor do I want my besties to get affected. At times I do tell them what's going on but I'll show them it's ok for me.. But it isn't



Friends meant everything to me. I treasure my friends and this is what I expect in return.


R/s is extremely important. I will kill for that guy. I'll do almost anything just to satisfied the guy. Anything.. Just anything.

Eversince I got sick of being abused , used and toyed... I can't afford to get into another r/s.

It's never nice forgiving your bf fucking your only 4 years best friend.
It's never nice being used for money.
It;s never nice being called a slut or accused of fucking around when you were over his house almost 24/7.
It's never nice having your good guy friend's number deleted without complaining.
It's never nice doing so much for just a simple surpise to see him smile but then got abused right after that.
It;s never nicebeing forced to waste your time being with him and got your O levels flunked and not appreciated in the end and YET... still wouldn't admit his fault.
It's never nice realising that he's got a girlfriend and after forgiving, you got played as well.
It's never nice doing so much knewing that he still loves his ex and yet trying hard to make him feel better.
It's never nice crying every night for a guy.
It's never nice screaming at your bestie over a guy despite she's been trying to protect u all the time.
It;s never nice giving your bf back to his ex in return for a promise, that is to treat him better.
It's never nice running all the way down to his place at a corner just to see a sight of him despite being ditch.
It;s never nice begging him to come back even though if he's back for a sub..



HOW dumb could I be....




And i m fucking hungry. Brb..

I miss home. I wanna finish loading my boss's pictures... =(


I hate my mum. She's a retarded idiotic fatherfucker. BAH...


I want home... I want home... I want home....




Now in friend's house . WOOTS... first time moved out but was pretty adventurous. WOOTs..
Thanks to Shaun and Sean for helping me out to look for a place. Geez. Hmm.... Pretty sleepy and my eyes are swollen man.. I look like.. a fat panda. OH.. was pretty happy after I went to weight myself.


I M 45kg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!


Sean was really nice. He's like.. tired but he kept showing me around his house ytd and helping me to clear up the room and get stuff for me. This morning when i woke up, he even left a note reminding me there's food in the kitchen and even left 4 ciggis for me. omg..

Thanks god for giving me such friends around me.


Now i wanna go bathe.. his brother came into the room. WAH LAU!! i never put make up.. -.- and having a mask on. WTF?! ok nvm.

He look rather cute. HA!.... ok... will blog tonight. See ya guys. Anything just ring my hp up.

he' will kill if I show u what's in his fingers. I tell you why... 

he's handsome right?! 

Look how happy he and mr ginger bread man is... Best friends 

The gingerbreadman angry.... 

He wear tight tight today to meet hot hot cilent.  

I can't imgaine my manager holding that .. geez. that's why I try to resist myself from showing u people of him holding tt ginger bread man like these kind lo... 

If i show u these pictures of him holding the gingerbread man like all these..he will get pissed....  

u see. awwww.. he's like a child now... (ignore joe.... he's so screwed) lol 

he's just super ethu handicapped bread man. Cruel fellow.. sigh... 

this is so wrong. U see..  

coming.. 

climax..... he's so toasted.. 

tsk tsk tsk.. 

that's why cannot show.. You see YOU see... these are the people... 

who laughed at jason for the bread man . SEE, They're so frightened by him that they cannot let him know it's them. But not obvious right? I dun think jason can recognise these ppl with their face covered. 

i'll get mark out like this by him  

or either get slapped! 

me and danny... -.- 

me AND DANNY! 

This is what happen for always walking fast... leaving girls at the back. :D  

god 

ooo 

worth 8 million 

not me 

waaa