There was never a real " I m different from other guys"

There was never a real " I wanna be with you sincerely"

There was never a real " I'm never gonna make you cry"

There was never a real " I'm gonna take care of you for the rest of my life" -> WTF?

There was never a real " Share our ups and down"

There was never a real " I never gonna let you go"

There wasn never a real " I love you baby...."







There wasn't..







How dumb could I be?

I shouldn't have even started it without getting to know him better, the more I shouldn't have even fall for his sweet talks. So what if it was 5 days? I can't say I love him but the feelings did grew; rapidly.He seems so desperate to change his status to single even before I even thought of changing it. GREAT.

All I need was just time to prove. My past was the cause of pulling me back. Right now, I m letting go of my past. I just need a little more time to prove I m do better. To prove I m strong enough to let go . I just need time to stop being sensitive and paranoid. It's only 5 days, How do you expect me to prove?

I even thought of cancelling tomorrow activities to meet up with you. To make up to you for things I never did today because I was just too tired. I even thought of topics and look up for jokes to cheer our atomsphere up for tomorrow, even ask around for places to chill and things to do with you. Hold your pinky , look out for pregnant women , listen to your stupid jokes , laugh sacasticaly on your cold jokes , smoke seesha . Planned so much.. But you just wouldn't give me the time. When I was on my way home, I even planned on bringing you to meet my mum that when I got home " Ma, tomorrow my new bf going out with us, DON't CARE!"


I broke the promise I made myself ; Never to shed a single tear for any guy.It just instantly breaks me down to see his fucking status.


Back again, I fall despite trying so hard to pull myself up puting all hopes on him.



Deleted his everything.

All his sweet messages which I've been saving and reading every night before I could sleep tight.

All his photos ; Hoping to see him in my dreams and smile while I'm asleep.



I give up .


I'm just gonna pop in a few more shots and get to bed .


Tomorrow will start afresh..


I've never known him in my life.
He has never existed within me.
He was never my ex.